Marriage and Engagement; Marriage as I said before was never something I wanted, but I have always wanted to be engaged forever.
Having that removed from the relationship I am in now has tainted the relationship a little because it has removed all my hopes and dreams of that happening. So pretty much it is a good thing because now I know not to expect that, or even look forward to it or waiting around for it to happen. I am sad and disappointed about it. however I will totally get over it.
Will I end up being disappointed and/or resenting my current partner because it was something I was looking forward to and secretly hoping would happen soon, I don’t know. Possibly. Who knows. I know I want this relationship to work and sacrificing 1 big thing I have always wanted is something which needed doing to keep things going and moving forward and not putting pressure on him about anything.
We will see where it goes from here.
As I said I will buy the ring for me, maybe even as a promise to myself that I am the one who needs to come first and not look to others and always put them above me, ultimately we are all meant to put ourselves first otherwise how will we have anything to put into someone else?