I feel

I feel at the moment pretty lost and the unknown continuation of my relationship. 

I don’t like feeling lost or the unknown, I suppose whatever I cannot control scares me. The fear of losing something I love is terrifying to me. 

I know my partner loves me, but how much more of this fighting or arguing over stupid little things which in the big scale of life don’t even matter! 

All I want is security and to know I am not going to be left. To feel safe. I think that has scared him into a lost and numb zone to because he feels pressured into something he doesn’t want. But does he want me? I want to know if I am his forever, I want to be his forever that’s all I ask. But I cannot force him into anything so yet again my fate is unknown and I don’t like that.